10 Hints That You Have Lost Your Centre

Life Coaching Articles by Roman Oleh Yaworsky

Excerpt from "Being Centered: Living From Your Authentic Self", pages 9-11 from Being Centered
Spirit Unleashed^TM Publications, Miami, 2007
Copyright © 2007 by Roman Oleh Yaworsky. All rights reserved.
$24.95 US, 292 pages. Acid free paper, Reinforced binding

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Here are 10 hints that you are off balance or not centered
in your interactions with others. Are any of these your pattern?

Hint 1: You seek others to be your center.
When you lose connection to your own core and heart, you seek others to be your center. When you seek to lean on the people in your life instead of taking responsibility for your own healing, you leave yourself open and vulnerable to be manipulated by their needs and for them to define your worth and who you are.

Hint 2: You start to feel powerless.
When you lose your center, you feel powerless. You start to feel that you cannot change your situation for the better, or to say what you feel or what you want. You begin to believe that you are not important, that you don’t matter. Then it becomes okay if someone ignores your best interests, or if you do not get your needs met.

Hint 3: You try to adjust to the needs of others.
You try to please them or make them like you, because in losing your center, the hearts of others become more important than your own. You then center on their approval and their acceptance of you.

Hint 4: You begin to blame other people.
When your attempts at adjusting to others fail, or you make them responsible for your loss of center, you begin to blame others in your life.

Hint 5: You become irresponsible with your heart.
You begin to honor others more than yourself. You may act totally responsible in your duties at work and seemingly in your dealings with others in your need to be accepted, liked or approved of. At the same time, you ignore your own best interest and feelings.

Hint 6: You begin not to take care of your feelings, your heart or your best interests.
Instead your focus shifts to taking care of other things. You begin to put inconsistent value on the people and things in your life in direct proportion to their hold on you. You become more reactive and more easily ruffled and you increasingly act out of your fear.

Hint 7: You begin to be more pessimistic about the future.
Your experience of losing your center is a contraction. As a result, there is less expansiveness towards the future.

Hint 8: You often ignore what happens inside of you.
When your focus is on your reactions to others, you tend to ignore yourself. However, what happens inside of you is far more important.

Hint 9: You begin to lose trust in yourself
as you become disconnected from your center on the inside. You often experience that separation in your heart, in your own sense of value, your sense of worth and in your own will.

Hint 10: You begin not to like yourself.
Having lost your center, you begin not liking the choices you are making with your life. In time you may experience difficulty in liking yourself and whom you have chosen to become.

All of these things happen as a result of losing your center. In this way, you become contracted to your own spirit and to your own energy. These inward disconnections are primary. When you do not address them, you form emotions and negative emotional states. And then you begin to define yourself by these very disconnections.

How do you regain center?

You never lose your core. You never lose your center. You never lose your heart. What you lose is your connection. And in order to regain your center, you need to regain your connection. How do you do that? You do it by reconnecting to the place where that relationship was first lost, where that separation was first felt, and that place is in your heart.

How do you reconnect to your heart?

In order to reconnect to your heart you need to stop avoiding your heart. What do I mean by that? Well, we often edit, ignore, avoid, or try to control what comes from our hearts.

Have you ever had the experience of being asked how you feel about something, and you find yourself lying because the truth is not what someone else wants to hear? When you start down this path, you often begin to lie to yourself also. Then your own internal dishonesty begins to separate you from your true feelings.

We have to learn to stop doing that. We have to become aware of our feelings and of what our heart is trying to tell us. And we have to learn to take care of our heart. As we do these things, our connection to our heart will increase and this will pull us back to center.

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